New perspectives and old ideas

So it has been almost 8 days since my last cigarette, I feel ok. Still a little edgy, and at sometimes I feel the compulsion to do something, not really smoke, just to do something random and unplanned. This fits nicely with Leshner’s addiction is a brain disease model. (http://www.issues.org/17.3/leshner.htm) In this, Leshner talks about the obsessive and compulsive component of addiction. My desire to smoke can be relieved by doing something less hazardous to my health; as long as it is done on the fly, and not planned out. Cycling seems to be my cure all for cravings. It is a repetitive task that involves some rituals just as my addiction has. I recently also learned about the six key components to long term recovery according to the CSAR (center for the study of addiction and recovery). The first and possibly most important component is hope or purpose. When I was in my addiction my life was meaningless and my only hope was that God in all his wisdom would remove me from this earth and end my existence as a lifeless shell of a human being. Now that I have found recovery I have hope, hope of a brighter tomorrow. My life is filled with purpose and meaning, I reach out to others and do my best to enrich the environment around me on a daily basis. The next component is positive identity development. This happens when the addict stops thinking of themselves as a bad person, and starts thinking of themselves as having a positive impact on the community. Reclamation of agency sounds a lot more complicated than it is. This basically means that the addict begins to feel as if they have gained the power to make their decisions and are no longer controlled by their addiction. A sense of achievement or accomplishment is also essential recovery. Next the addict must develop a capacity for stable interpersonal relations. This means healthy long term intimate relationships, not just sexual partners but friends as well. Finally the addict must develop healthy coping skills. I can no longer rely on getting high or even abusing tobacco to deal with things that trouble me. An excellent example of a healthy coping skill would be cycling. Well kind of at least. Anything done to excess can be hazardous to my health. For now at least I view cycling as a healthy way of dealing with those day to day problems. Ok I think I have babbled enough about recovery for one day.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
-- Kurt Vonnegut